Dating and looking for friends

21-Jul-2020 00:20

But then it gets you thinking: You're single, too — what could be so bad about a casual night in bed with someone you like but don't love?

For 50-plus types unwilling to walk — possibly rewalk — the path that leads to romance, rings and relocation, the prospect of a "friend with benefits" is looking less and less like a millennial indulgence.

After all, it gets awfully lonely waiting around for "the one." Perhaps you've decided that what you need at this point in your life is someone to talk to and laugh with — someone with whom you can share the sheets, but not the tax refund.

Many older divorced or widowed men and women are in the same boat. You're probably not desperate enough to stalk your neighbors, or to go looking for friends with benefits in all the wrong places (bars come to mind).

The new model is apparently more fluid, loose, and appears to favour randomness – all things young people enjoy.

After school and university – both moveable feasts of friend-making opportunities – men in particular often forget how to make close buddies.

Striking up a friendly rapport with a newcomer becomes the exception, not the norm. These days, there are apps for pretty much anything, from getting a cleaner in after a party to chartering a private jet and booking a massage. ‘Wiith’, a new San Francisco-based app, is designed to buddy you up with people looking for buddies. No romance, no sex, just pure, unadulterated friendship. The premise is simple: if you’re new to a city, or just want to meet someone new, the app connects you with like-minded others inside a set radius.

“We think Wiith is a lot more spontaneous than Meetup, along with not having the dating stigma of Tinder,” Hodnett said.

If Wiith does manage to attract users and take on some of Meetups’ 20 million-plus fan base, it could prove a popular choice for business travellers keen to find someone to share an evening meal with, and city newbies hoping to track down a running partner within hours of unpacking their trainers.

The new model is apparently more fluid, loose, and appears to favour randomness – all things young people enjoy.After school and university – both moveable feasts of friend-making opportunities – men in particular often forget how to make close buddies.Striking up a friendly rapport with a newcomer becomes the exception, not the norm. These days, there are apps for pretty much anything, from getting a cleaner in after a party to chartering a private jet and booking a massage. ‘Wiith’, a new San Francisco-based app, is designed to buddy you up with people looking for buddies. No romance, no sex, just pure, unadulterated friendship. The premise is simple: if you’re new to a city, or just want to meet someone new, the app connects you with like-minded others inside a set radius.“We think Wiith is a lot more spontaneous than Meetup, along with not having the dating stigma of Tinder,” Hodnett said.If Wiith does manage to attract users and take on some of Meetups’ 20 million-plus fan base, it could prove a popular choice for business travellers keen to find someone to share an evening meal with, and city newbies hoping to track down a running partner within hours of unpacking their trainers.Marilyn, a 57-year-old single colleague of mine, recently reconnected with someone she had worked with many years ago. "No," Marilyn said with a laugh, "it's better than that: I'm in like with him — and that's exactly where I want to be." She further confided that they planned to make their reunions "a regular thing — if four times a year can be called 'regular.' But I think that's about all I really want." Marilyn's casual approach to maintaining a friendship with benefits typifies the mindset of older folks who have reconciled themselves to having "great fun" even if it's "just one of those things." And episodic pleasure-seeking may be more common than you think: In The Normal Bar, a book I wrote last year with Chrisanna Northrup and James Witte, we reported that 61 percent of female survey respondents who had partners fantasized about someone they had met.