Dating after the death of a spouse what to do

13-Dec-2019 10:11

I asked questions in oncologists' offices and took notes.I cried on the phone to impassive health insurance bureaucrats.But I felt torn between feeling very attached to his memory and also taking tentative steps toward a future without him.Widowhood also has had a strange sanctifying effect on how men perceive me.We went out for drinks and had a great time, telling stories about our childhood and swapping anecdotes about our lives as writers.I'd assumed that our mutual friends had told him I'd lost my husband.

"You must have really loved him," a few men have said in awe.

Although I decided to wear my wedding ring for a year after his death (as a respectful gesture to Frank and to keep unwanted male attention at bay), six months in, I felt ready to date.

I had started to miss companionship, the everyday pleasures of having a man in my life.

But he also helped me understand how alien and incomprehensible my situation must seem to someone who has not lived with such a loss.

I've been dating for almost two years now--some guys lasted just one date, others for months at a time.

"You must have really loved him," a few men have said in awe.

Although I decided to wear my wedding ring for a year after his death (as a respectful gesture to Frank and to keep unwanted male attention at bay), six months in, I felt ready to date.

I had started to miss companionship, the everyday pleasures of having a man in my life.

But he also helped me understand how alien and incomprehensible my situation must seem to someone who has not lived with such a loss.

I've been dating for almost two years now--some guys lasted just one date, others for months at a time.

The path that led me from wife to widow had been long, crooked, and painful.